Quote:

Muddle, I would marry you in another life, you are so wise and encouraging - besides knowing how I feel.



- A second pseudo-proposal from such an amazing woman!!! I'm so not worthy of your compliments - but rather your comments reflect these wonderful things about you.

Anyway, I think the latest with your H shows promise. My W is angry at me for the same things, it's kind of surprising. And I haven't been expressing any of how I feel regarding the affair to her. I think it's just how our position looks from the other side. It's like sitting on opposite banks of a river making assumptions about what's going on with the other. You don't know, and can't know. In fact, the only way to share is to both get in the water and share your experience. He feels bad. He sees you playing the victim - he's doing the same, it's just that he's victimizing himself over something different than you are. He doesn't trust himself anymore than he trusts you. It's not you, it's him. He's right though, you do have to look to yourself, but because you want to, because you know you'll be better off, not because you're afraid that if you don't, he'll walk. At least you're arguing - it shows you both care. I'm sure he's noticing your progress, even if he doesn't tell you. It's good that he's sharing his anger with you. He's connecting with you, choosing to jump into turbulent water, unsure how deep it is, or what's in there too. Don't leave him in there alone.

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ”
– Albert Einstein