I'm so glad to see an update...it sounds to me as if you've made some progress in finding the inner YOU and making some real changes. Regardless of outcomes, don't lose that.
Perhaps it's time to let go of the "day late, dollar short/too-little-too-late" stuff and look at your experiences for what they are: opportunities to learn and grow. Because you are learning and growing. We each have different paths and different wake-up calls--obviously some are more painful than others. But the whole process (if we choose to let it) can put us in places we never imagined. Let that happen for you. When you can look at all of it and be grateful for the opportunity to find yourself, your real self, you'll be in a much better place.
I think you're already well on your way. (((((Hugs)))))
