Well, W moved back into our room last night. Nothing was said about anything. She was pleasant and attentive to the kids. That’s about all I can hope for. I have to recognize here on out that I am dealing with a child. This is a person who, as my T said, was very emotionally deprived as a child and that upbringing interferes with every R in her life. She has a job where people “need” her, she has children who “need” her and there is no room for a H to “need” her. OP has reached in and stroked that neglected child creating a dependence for both of them. W needs someone who doesn’t need but is only willing to give, OP needs someone to care for, someone to control. I can’t do anything about turning on the light in W’s head, she is in total control over this part of her life. She calls herself selfish, self-centred, unable to meet others needs, resentful yet chooses to do nothing to change it. OP accepts her as is so she’s taking that easy route. No one can ever heal the child that was damaged except herself. She must choose to make that happen. At this time, she won’t. Therefore I must continue on caring for myself and my children. I really have to try NOT to have expectations of her caring for me in any way. That is damn hard to do. But, hey, isn’t it silly to continue doing the same thing over and over and then expect different results? It’s dead and I can’t bring it back to life. I can leave the door open and continue with my life. That’s really it. She has left me but in reality she left me years ago. I will survive!
