I'm new to the db message board, but I was impressed with your self-talk. I think that if you listen to your own advice, and it seems that you eventually get there, that you will be on track. For instance, apolegizing is always a productive thing to do if you truly believe that you were wrong, or that what you did caused the other discomfort. You renew your energy to move on, you clear the air, and you set a great example for anyone watching. I also think that the 180's are also going to free up more of your energy by not ruminating and care-taking of your wife. Let her take care of her business as you have enough on your plate. Also, because,if that is your previous pattern, it has apparently not been aptly appreciated. Save some of that pampering energy for yourself. Keep up the great efforts. Jody S
