OK, this drives me nuts! W asked me this morning about babysitting arrangements for the banquet Saturday night. She had told me that a friendsdaughter could look after the kids that night. Our eldest did not want to go there so we told D to give us her reasoning behind not wanting to go there by the next day and we would consider an alternative, if she didn't we would go ahead with these plans. D has never been there and probably just shy. D said nothing. this morning W says "what is happening Sat. night re babysitting?" I said "I thought ..." and she said "It was supposed to be discussed the next day and never was". I called my parents because that was the alternative arrangement to see if they could, if necessary, fill in. I also asked W to check on first arrangement and go with it if it was still open to us. My mother asked about the other arrangement, as she thought (after talking with me earlier in the week) it was taken care of. I said "Oh, I guess W forgot to check, busy and all" and W loudly stated "I did not forget, it was not discussed" so I said " OK, it was not discussed, fine" (Yes, I know I embarrassed her by telling mom that she "forgot", I knew it as soon as the words left my mouth!). But this is what pisses me off. She won't take responsibility. What is wrong with saying "I never got to confirming the arrangements, are your parents still available?" It's her friggin work dinner, not mine. She knew arrangements had not been "discussed" while I, on the other hand, had believed they were (and noted such on our family meeting minutes, which she never read!). Emotionally I react because I feel (note the word feel here versus fact) that she thinks "Oh yes, one more example of our poor communication and why we should not be together". I also feel by her not taking responsiblity that it is MY job and I fell short AGAIN! I know these thoughts are ME and may not reflect her beliefs at all, but they are still there. I will just push them aside today and try and recognize them as "just thoughts" not fact! I also think about earlier in the week when I suggested we take a day off work to Xmas shop for the kids together. This would stop me from being the main purchaser of gifts and be more a team effort. Her response to my suggestion was "I don't know". Does she want to make this issue better or not? she bitches but doesn't do anything even when I make the first move to improve things. I'm not saying "love me" for it, but make some Fing effort to change the things "you" don't like. Oh well, enough bitching. I will not let this ruin my day Any thoughts appreciated.
Just a quick additional thought: My best friend has always said my W won't take any responsiblity for the R or her part in it, she just blames me for any perceived inadequacies. I can't make her take R. I guess I just motor on here.
Any thoughts appreciated.
