Hello all: ONE and A HALF DAY and counting until H and I land in Retrouvaille.
Quote: Okay, already, enough is enough. Will he just Go, please go. I am soooooooooooo soooo tired of listening to him.
I think I might have confused everyone with this lament. I wasn't talking about H going to Retrouvaille, He IS going. I was talking about, his whining, second guessing, 20/20 hindsight attitude about everything. He makes a choice and then proceeds to negate it. I'm so tired of this, I was saying would he please just go(leave) instead of telling me every reason why he doesn't want to BE with me or doesn't want a relationship or blah blah blah.
Quote: I'm not sure that I won't make it until these sessions are over before I hit the ground running. Is it fear on his part or is it ...? I just don't know.
Yesterday after I wrote the above I went and said to H: "The reason I think you are still sleeping in the studio and are furious about giving up your Saturday night is because you are still in a relationship with OW. If that's is true, that's no problem, I just don't want to go to Retrouvaille if you are still involved with her. He said that wasn't the case.
Quote: I have been affectively demantled. I wouldn't trust my instincts regarding him for anything.
I also told him this and a few other things.
We had a pretty good talk and I actually felt much better after our talk.
I pray that we both make it to and through this weekend.(and little S9, who is distraught that we are going away) I pray that the healing will begin. I pray for everyone here as well.
Hi Barb, I hope I catch you before you go on your cruise. Give everyone a hug for me and I hope you all have a great time.
Thanks for your prayers. H has recommitted to go, it’s me that is just so disillusioned that I find it hard to believe things will be improved by going to the weekend, given my H’s attitude. As far as I can see, this is a last ditch effort on my part. THIS IS IT! That’s a lot of pressure for a weekend and 7 follow up sessions.
I actually do acknowledge all of my H’s concerns. I don’t get mad when he voices them about the weekend. I just tell him I understand and that he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to and I then remind him why we both decided to go in the first place.
Thanks again for keeping up with me, you are a sweetie. I’d love to visit with you again someday and I think it has to be way longer!
Andrea, Yes, I think you are right. What you posted above is a good way to look at it. Take care and hang in there.
Hi Kansha: I will pass on your hugs. Just heard from the 2 girls - they are in Lauderdale while we in the North freeze! Hang it there - you made it this far. After the w/e - reassess. Give it a bit of time. You know how much you can take & when you've had enough. Remember you only get 1 life. You decide how you want to live it.
Well, I would love to meet again. Hopefully Rap can make it next time. My California buds are begging me to return & kids want to as well. Maybe Spring break - I had hoped to go to Hawaii, but can't take D out of school that long. Continuing to pray for you. (((HUGS)))
Barb
Kansha, I started to post to you the other day, and then ran out of time... I guess I'm glad I didn't now, as you sound a little better, as of yesterday at least.
I will be very interested in hearing how your weekend goes. I know it's hard not to have high hopes & expectations, and misgivings, too--just go with them, and see what happens. Can't hurt, might help, right? I know you're not expecting a "miracle cure," though, which is good.
You know, even when they're not in an R w/OW anymore, it still takes time to get them out of their systems. Somewhere I read it takes about half as long to get over someone as the amount of time the R lasted. I don't know if that's true, but it may be a general guideline. I guess I'd say it took my H about that long--and me, a LOT longer to believe he really was "over her"!!
I'll be keeping you in my prayers, St. Kansha! Deb
In about four hours H and I will be at Retrouvaille. Thanks for all your prayers. They sure are comforting! I have butterflies in my stomach but I have given it completely over to God. I have no expectations.
Barb, Spring sounds good to me. Thanks for your prayers, and have fun on your cruise.
Debm, I’m so glad I got to read your post before I left. Thanks for the thoughts on OW. I guess that would make my H take a little under 2 years then as far as I can figure. He still sees her and still hangs out with her crowd. I’m not invited. To be fair, when he does go out he does say it is to jam (play music) and she doesn’t play any instrument and sings horribly. Thanks for keeping me in your prayers.
See ya'll when we get back, you are in my prayers too.
