Picture me facing you with my hands up, palms out, saying, I swear I did not introduce ANY talks of any kind.
H comes in while I am reading to S9(seems like that is his favorite time to "talk") And says, "I feel bamboozled into this Retrouvaille thing." To which I say, I'm not going to talk about this in front of S9. S9 leaves and H says that based on Retrouvaille's confirmation letter, that "they" have an agenda.
I'm never good at relaying the details of our conversations, I usually so flabbergasted by what h says. But, I did say, AGAIN, that my understanding of the weekend is what I have conveyed to him based on several conversations from people who have attended. I told him, I thought he was smart enough not to be brainwashed and to make decisions on his own. I defended the "healing" aspect of the weekend by referring to our initial conversation, that defind the criteria for us to move in together. One of those aspects WAS healing.
He was furious that he had to go to 7 follow up sessions on HIS saturday night. I said, no one is forcing you to do the weekend. We agreed(in that first conversation) that we need something and this I believe, fits the bill AND has follow up sessions which should fit the bill as far as the therapy sessions we figured we needed. The price is right as we certainly can't afford $140.00 an hour sessions. If you can come up with an alternative, PLEEEEASE do. Some more highlights of our conversation: -H kept saying how he can never trust me and that after a conversation with me he ends up confused.
-I stated that I have never ever lied to him ever. Where as he on the other hand has lied to me continually.
-Here's the kicker: He said that, From day one he has had a problem with me.
Okay, perhaps he is scared. I think he is.
That's one thought, the other is he is still attached to the OW and has to still make me out to be the bad person, to justify his choices. You can't believe the things he says. I will try to make it to this weekend.
But, I don't hold out much hope. He's admitted that he really needs to work on his own issues.
Credo, Sorry it took so long for me to reply. I'm hanging on by a thread my friend and I don't think my marriage will survive. He is a selfish, self-serving man. After all this he continues to casts stones at me. I have been trying to "Act as if". But maybe I'm just in stone cold denial.
I have to admit, H's words have thrown me for a loop. After ALL this time he is still happy to lay our problems squarely in my lap.
Okay, already, enough is enough. Will he just Go, please go. I am soooooooooooo soooo tired of listening to him.
I'm not sure that I won't make it until these sessions are over before I hit the ground running. Is it fear on his part or is it ...? I just don't know. I have been affectively demantled. I wouldn't trust my instincts regarding him for anything.
I pray I make it to and through this weekend. I pray that the healing will begin.
Credo, you can boil or steam the soy beans and then salt them in the shells. I boil the frozen ones for about 7 minutes in salted water and then salt them after I have poured the water off.
Fresh should be yummy. In japanese they are called edamame.
I think you are doing great handling your H's insanity.
