Rachael, You MUST “act as if” you trust him. You will drive him away if you don’t. As so many have said before: Your fears will drive him away. I pray that you can stop your anxious thoughts and replace them with good ones, at all times. I had to do it. My H would not tolerate for a second, me being emotionally needy. I’m not saying that you can never tell him anything about your struggles. It’s just that you can’t lay it in his lap and expect him to “fix” it. I will continue to pray for you. Hugs
Hi Debm, I can’t thank you enough for your support. I do so value your perspective. I think you really understand where I have been and where I have to go and what I have to do to get there. Most people question my choices.
My D DID inherit my H’s personality. It is a challenge. That’s why it was extra difficult when H was a raving lunatic, D was the same way. Only thing was, D was suppose to be behaving that way, H wasn’t. I do hope D will get a better perspective when she’s older. I just hope I’m around when that time comes. She was furious, and I do mean furious, when she came home Monday afternoon and found I had returned her gifts. She conveniently minimized her reaction to the gift in the first place. That little incident, took me awhile to recover from, actually. But, I’m fine now and am now able to reach out lovingly but firmly, to D to try to work things through with her.
I am glad that you all are well and doing fine. I pray that you all continue to do so and that you continue to be able to heal.
I sure do appreciate your prayers on our behalf regarding Retrouvaille. I'm in "nail-biting" mode until we actually check in that Friday evening.
I just don’t know what I will do if it doesn’t move things well along in a highly visible way. I know it isn’t a panacea but it does promise better communication and connectedness.
The other night I actually brought up the OW by name and H didn’t get defensive. I was so amazed. He did ask me why I was bringing up her name. To which I replied, I hate to avoid indefinitely, talking about something that is obviously being avoided. I hate talking around things. Might as well just say her name cause there is such a charge about it. Something like that. We might have had a nice honest conversation about it if the doorbell hadn’t rung. But that’s okay, it was a start.
Take good care of yourself Deb. You are a good person and I wish only happiness for you and yours. I’ll be here when you feel like stopping by.
