EA, being "friends" with OW, and Boundaries Part 2

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I also agree that money needs to be split more evenly. When you guys got married, your stuff became both of yours and his stuff became both of yours. Just because you made less money than him doesn't mean your less of a person and deserve less! He is the one who is wanting out, not you. You did not ask him to leave you. You gave him your life when you married him. He is breaking that covenant.

I totally agree with pretending it's a D to figure out finances. If he wants to pretend to be single, he needs to live it out how it's going to be if that is what he chooses. Anything else will let him live this S in a "fantasy" land. He needs to feel his consequences which also means, let him fend for himself.

If he throws a tantrum about the money, you can just tell him "When I married you, I gave you my life, my time, and my money for the rest of my life. I did not marry you with the expectation that you would change your mind. But since that is the direction you may be headed, I deserve to be taken care of fairly. Just because I do not make the dollar amount that you make, does not mean I deserve less than you. ". okay, I can't think of anything else. Someone could probably think of something better, and more to the point.

Of course whatever you say to him, needs to be said in a calm manner without sadness or bitterness or hatefullness.

Have you called a lawyer just to see what you could expect to get if you did D? I had talked to one and he said that anything after the marriage is all 50/50.

Well, after talking about the "bad" stuff... let's talk about the good stuff.

I was pleased to hear that your H is trying to find "connectors".. that's great. And about the xmas lights and all that stuff. Wow. I really really think that if you can just struggle thru all this, sometime next year you guys will be back together starting a whole new R. Remember that you haven't been at this too long, and you still have plenty of time to show him who you really are. The Juli that loves herself, has fun, flirts with her H, respects her H, and respects herself.

When this is all over, you will have so much to give to others. You will be proud of the experience your going thru, because it is making you such a strong woman and you are learning to love yourself thru it.

God Bless
Crissy