EA, being "friends" with OW, and Boundaries Part 2

[NikB]

I know I just posted but thought my questions would stand out better in their own shorter post!

For our MC tonight, I had a couple of questions if anyone has a chance to answer. I have a whole spreadsheet including budget and things we’d each have to do before the S if it happens (i.e. mailing address changes, figure out lawn care, etc.). Should I bring it with me? Or is it something I should mention vaguely but keep to myself?

I want to convey the message that I’d prefer not to separate but that I’m prepared if it happens. I also don’t want to seem overly eager about it, and I want to be careful not to give away any information that might hurt me later. For example since we keep our money so separate and I pay all the bills, I don’t think H realizes that if we refi I can afford the house on my own but if we don’t, I can’t. I hate to think he’d do this to me, but there’s the possibility he could use that as leverage so that it’s more likely he gets to stay in the house. The refi will take 5-8 business days plus mailing time for the paperwork.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions, advice, etc.