EA, being "friends" with OW, and Boundaries Part 2

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I'm glad to hear about the sex part. I'd still be cautious though. Only because in my experience, my H wouldn't always tell me the truth. I think mostly because he didn't want to hurt my feelings, and second because he didn't want to feel bad for hurting me.

It is great that you are so strong willed about the STDs. I was a wimp on that. Almost felt like I did when I first started having sex.. oh, it won't happen to me.. I was 24, mind you, old enough to know better (and we got pregnant in two weeks). But with me, I didn't even know about the OW until they had already done it probably a few times and I was pretty sure I had too. So then I was like, well, if there were any STDs, I'd have already gotten it anyways. horrible!!!! I know!! I just couldn't help myself! no will power whatsoever.

Hey. regarding the refinancing. The rates are the lowest they have been in over a year now, so it is a great time to do it. They've dropped like 2 times in the last month or so already. What is your rate now. I used to work at the bank long ago, so I'm pretty familiar with home loans. We're getting a Home Equity loan ourselves. If you want to email me personally about it, I could help you out if you want.

That would be really awkward if your H tries to set you up. He might also be having issues that he thinks maybe he's not good enough for you, or can't give you what you need. I don't know.

and YES, you really need to love yourself and you CAN get to that point. It's hard for me too. I really hated myself for a really long time. That's why it's so hard for me when my H never compliments me, no matter how good or how hard I tried to fix myself up. That's a big thing I'm trying to deal with now.

If you think about it. How can your H love you, if you don't love yourself? If you never learn to love yourself, you will never be truely confident, your changes won't be lifelong, and this whole DBing will have been for nothing. It will take time to learn, but you can do it, and GALing will definitely help. You already know that you are physically looking better everyday, and are feeling better everyday, and you know that you are fun to be with, and your H (even though he thinks he may want to end this) thinks your fun too because he wouldn't want to be spending time with you if he didn't. So you have all the reasons to LOVE yourself!!! God made you perfect in His eyes.