(1) Lying is not a way to find a better R. Simply tell him that you were hurt and it was painful to see the pictures. Taking down wedding pictures is perfectly appropriate. Nothing wrong with turning it into a positive like you said by taking advantage of the fact that the pictures are down to take care of a project.
(2) H wants a separation to see how it feels NOT to be married to you. H does not want to be M to you right now, he does NOT want a H/W R with you right now. Whether or not you separate physically, you need to quit treating him like your H and quit ASSuming he will be happy to act like an H. If you cannot live in your house independently, then you need to find some other way to get your needs met than by relying on H to do H-ly things, or you need to find a different living situation. If you must have expectations, have the expectation that H will NOT be there for you emotionally, physically, handymanwise, yardmanwise, etc...
(3) It is not healthy to seek comfort for the pain of S from the spouse who wants to S. GAL, and get a support system.
(4) Don't bury your head in the sand. You don't know how the S will turn out. It may hurt you with respect to any divorce proceedings if you are the one to move out. Also, I'm not sure why it is that H seems to have more operating money than you. Is there some reason why funds are not being shared more equitably for this separation?
(5) Say it to yourself over and over -- right now H is NOT my husband. I am NOT entitled to his love or concern or helpfulness. Such things are freely given gifts between people, I don't have a right to them.
(6) With respect to the S, get very clear about the business end of it. Any attempt to use it as an emotional tool will backfire. By all means do not try to spite H in some way... At the same time, make sure to take care of yourself. Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself. It is really OK if he gets mad. Your job is not to make an S go exactly how he wants it. Your job is to make your life work for you.
