NikkiB, Just back after a while away, catching up on your threads. You've had a busy week. The suspense is awful, isn't it? So many maybe's. And the truth is,... we will probably never know the truth. Your H situation, working with OW, doing stuff wiht she or a group, is just waht my H did. If H's were in their right mind, they would know it's not ok and it's not acceptable. I spent many months saying that to H. One day, the day before I found proof, I said I want you to stop seein gher, and he said she's my friend, I'm not going to stop seeing her. I gave him, the 'if you haven't gone to far already, you will'.. of course he had. Once they go that far, then they have to make it acceptable in their minds. it MUST be love, because it would be wront, if it wasn't for love... but somehow, because it's love, it's ok. Be good to yourself. You may do all the right things, and he may still hurt you more. I remember having a converation with H after I found out about the A. He said he felt bad, because he knew he would hurt me more. ... and so he has. much much more. I think they spend time fighting with themselves, trying to find a way to make doing the wrong thing, acceptable. My only hope is that after a while, their conscience eats them alive, and they finally realize the magnitude of what they've done.
Your H OW, is so much like my H OW. Manipulater is the key word. They are so bold and brazen. You just know that your H is not in his right mind if he doesn't realize it... they seem to think that we are always trying to manipulate them, while being manipulated by a pro! (OW).
You keep at it. You have to believe it will work, or you'l just fall apart. Been there, done that. Still doing it. I'm waiting to see tomorrow, if I'm on the bad list tomorrow, after my interactoin with OW today. btw, I would not recommend interactoin with OW. We are good people, they are not. Don't cast our pearls before swine, comes to mind....
that reminds me, I heard a line on Grays Anatomy... the OW who chase after dr's ... seems to apply equally well to our H OW...they are like bedpans, shiney, full of crap, and best when dumped! gotta love it.
