After seeing what you've gone through physically, I can understand your concern (and your husband's) about your safety.
But in the end, you are going to have to decide what you want to do, according to your own desires. If you're not really all that into skiing (or whatever else) and you do it to "show" your husband something, you are still being reactive. In this case, you'd be taking a hell of a chance to make a point. But if you do it because you want to and thereby arouse some kind of crisis in him (however small it might be), you'll have a happy confluence of your wishes and good work on your marriage.
It has to be confusing to figure out what you really want now. Take it easy on yourself and hopefully that knowledge will come.
