EA, being "friends" with OW, and Boundaries Part 2

[NikB]

Ok this is weird.. what IS it about Tuesday?? 3 Tuesdays ago was the night H didn't come home til ridiculously late... last Tuesday was the night he bailed on helping me with the Thanksgiving groceries and I flipped out. Tonight I get home, he's in a 'mood' so I just said our usual polite "Hi how was your day?" We don't share ILYs anymore but we usually share a friendly (totally unromantic, but friendly) kiss and hug before work and one after. Anyway I could tell he was in a really bad mood so I said Hi but started doing other things - and out of nowhere he tells me he's going for a drive and takes off. In a way it's a blessing because I was trying to avoid talking to him too much tonight but I am starting to get a complex about Tuesdays!!

On the plus side - tonight I did my treadmill walk, all the chores, AND took time to do my nails and style my hair for absolutely no reason. About to go light some candles for no real reason except I like them too. And I'm going to re-read DB now... and try to mentally prepare that H may not come back tonight or not til late or who knows. (sigh), yes, this is the hard part.

He's supposed to meet me at the bank after work tomorrow to refinance my car (we're both on the loan), but he's acting funny about it all of a sudden. If he doesn't show up I've decided to try and just get the loan in my name. My credit score's good and it's my only debt besides the house so I should be able to.

He actually seems completely freaked that I see the MC alone tomorrow. I'm wondering if it would've been better for him to go solo first so he could tell "his" side of the story and not feel she's taking sides. He said he trusts her and he's still really talking a lot about seeing her on Thursday though. I think it's the only appointment or important date he's remembered without my help in YEARS. It took me awhile to accept that he really does just have a bad memory and he wasn't intentionally forgetting stuff, and it means a lot to me that he's remembering this appointment so well.

Oh...I forgot to share, he told me the other night that he's really, really mad about me talking to our one friend about the situation. He said "That was a good group of friends, [friend's name] really liked OW until you trashed her and now we can't all hang around with them together." I reminded him that I DIDN'T trash her, just confirmed that she was H's friend and not mine and he didn't really respond.

I wish I could stop whatever pain he's going through right now. He never looks this dark for this long. I don't know if it's MLC, if he's processing that he may lose me..or lose OW... or what's going on. I know, I know, I need to detach but it's hard to see someone I love hurting so much and even harder not knowing what to do.

Thanks for listening!