EA, being "friends" with OW, and Boundaries Part 2

[NikB]

Thanks Mepicurus!

Yes, a lot of aspects of the MLC fit… that’s what scares me so much. I had to stop reading that stuff for now because it’s too discouraging and makes me feel like nothing will help. He definitely does not have the anger component of it, or if he does he’s placing it on himself or somewhere else, but the rest of it sure fits.

Interesting what you said about the addiction component. H has had various addictions over the years and has kicked them all, but I wonder if there’s some truth to the “addictive personality” and if it’s playing into this whole thing. He does totally act like he’s in a fog around her. He says being around her makes him feel like a kid again because she’s “spontaneous” and “willing to act silly or do crazy things.”

Thanks for the “Don’t let your husband throw you out of whack” reminder – that is very hard for me. Sometimes I wonder if all this stuff would be easier if he did move out for awhile since he has a male friend he can move in with. I hate to throw away the good times we still have together though.

I’ve decided to do my best to avoid talking to him at all tonight without being rude. I have my solo session with the MC tomorrow and hope I can get some of this sorted out then.