First, thanks for posting on my thread too. I think your everywhere on here! I just don't have time to really get on here a lot with my 2 year old.
It sounds like you've done pretty well, just except for that blow up you had. I also liked your comment about the tennis racket- I thought that was good!
Goodness. I really don't know what to tell you either. But know, that things aren't over between you two. There are so many good aspects of your sitch, and the fact that you found this website and Michelle's book before something really bad happened is such a blessing for your sitch.
You just hang in there. How long has it been since you started DBing? For some it may take weeks, and some months, and some years. Just depends how long your Spouse has felt the way they do, and how bad things really got, and the type of person they are.
It took me about 4 months of DBing before my H really came back to me and said he wanted me to be his W forever. Of course it's not over, cause she's still somewhat in the picture as you have read on my sitch, but I feel confident that the A is over.
Eventually H will see at some point that YOU are who he wants to be with and this OW is just a shell of a person.
I'm starting to think. While I was DBing, I was getting really really turned on by my H. I think it was partly because I was afraid of losing him. Anyways, I tried so hard not to do anything physical because I knew he had and may be physical with the OW, but sometimes I just couldn't help myself, and I think that was part of the change he saw in me that he really liked. So I think for us wives, if we are flirtatious and "groping" our husbands like we can't resist them, they will get such an ego boost from that. This is probably what the OW is doing for him, and he probably feels good when he's with her cause she flirts so much and makes him feel like he's the best catch in the world. YOU need to make him feel this way. Be sure and act like this as a reward to the good things he does.
okay, gotta go! Hang in there, you are doing awesome!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
