EA, being "friends" with OW, and Boundaries Part 2

[NikB]

Just journaling a couple of other things from this weekend. I am doing MUCH better with my goal of remaining neutral when H talks about the OW. Several times this weekend I've had opportunities to put her down and didn't, just nodded and listened. Yay for me!

But since I didn't get to tell H what I really thought, mind if I share it here?

1. Apparently she and her H had a big blowout last weekend. H doesn't know all the details (and I really don't care but apparently he wants to share all this with me), but whatever it was the OW has been home from work crying all week. She told my H that she missed her H way more than she ever thought she would and is wants to go back to him but that she's too stubborn to do it. She wants us to invite her and her H over to our house for dinner as a "surprise" so they can spend time together with a group of friends. I just nodded and didn't commit to anything but I was thinking "um.. WHAT???" How and why on earth would H and I be wrapped up in this mess? Should I invite her boyfriend and his wife too??? Maybe a single friend for her H to hook up with?? sheesh.

2. She recently "reconciled" with an old friend of hers - I'll call him N. They've been friends for years and she suddenly stopped talking to him after she and another friend got into a fight (the female friend I mentioned earlier who was her roommate for awhile and she told my H that she kicked her out...I'll call her "B"). N had OW over for Thanksgiving, and apparently, N and B are now dating. OW and B had been best friends for many years but stopped speaking after a big fight about the inappropriateness of dating a married man (the boyfriend, not my H). Thanksgiving was the first time they've seen each other and I guess it was far from warm and friendly. B kept making comments the whole time about how she and N are dating, keep away from him, etc. H told me this whole story and said "I guess [OW] just brings out that side of women, even her former best friend who should know better." Oh my gosh did I want to bust out laughing... know better??? H, how can you be SO BLIND???? No woman can stand this girl because of the way she acts around them and how she flirts with their boyfriends/husbands. Not even her "best friend"!! Does he really think we are ALL wrong??? (ok yes, sadly, he does).

3. H told me that OW bought him a tennis racquet so that "We could all go play together at the park" (all of us meaning him, OW, her daughter, and me). Oh fun right? blech. On this one I must confess I didn't 100% bite my tongue but I think it was ok. I said very nicely "Wow, that was really generous of her to get us one tennis racquet for the two of us to use." H gave me the funniest look, like it hadn't even occurred to him that maybe it was a little strange for her to get HIM a racquet, not get one for me, but suggest we all go. Of course I was also thinking "wow, you manipulative b****" but I didn't say that part. On the tennis thing I never commited either way... still need some time to think that one through. I changed the subject instead.

Ah well...off to do some more GAL activities!!