EA, being "friends" with OW, and Boundaries Part 2

[NikB]

Wow - I locked up my first thread! So here's a new one.

Thanks to those of you who commented about the antidepressants. I understand where you're coming from, but I've also lived with people who truly had chemical imbalances all my life so I've seen it and know it's very real. My dad's bipolar and the manic/depressive cycles are truly amazing. My grandma "went to bed" and refused to get out of it for 3 years until the ambulance took her to the mental hospital... my mom is so bad you can just see it in her face, it's like she CAN'T smile. This is actually the 4th doc in 12 years to suggest it to me, so I'm ready to give it a try but I will monitor it very closely. I'm hoping to use it just like someone mentioned, like a crutch to give me a little extra help right now on top of the other changes I'm making.

Today I wanted to post a positive "journal" entry for a change. I am sooo loving the view from the top of the rollercoaster right now!! I know the next drop is ahead, but last night was so wonderful and I want to look back at this next time I'm down.

H got home later than he was supposed to and I was on my way out the door when he got home. He looked surprised and said "I thought we were going out?" I said "So did I, but it was getting late so I assumed you made other plans and so did I." He said really wanted to take me out to dinner, so I ran a couple of errands then came home, got all dressed up, and did my hair really nice.

We had a good dinner, talked about little things and then he said he thought the MC was really going to help us. He liked the "approach it as if it's a new relationship and see if it's what you want" concept. I was so surprised. He also told me that EA/OW's boyfriend is leaving his wife for the OW (hope that wasn't too hard to follow). He was glad she'd have someone to hang around with so she wouldn't invite herself along with us so much. He actually seemed relieved. He used to be scared that if she ever had a "real" boyfriend that he'd lose his friend, so that was a big change.

We decided to go by an old friend's house to play pool after dinner (interestingly, a friend I realized we hadn't seen in a long time and I found out it's because he somehow offended OW awhile back). This guy is a good friend of H's and is very charismatic, and has ALWAYS flirted with me (but in a very innocent way). Halfway through dinnner H tells me "You're really going to "wow" [friend's name] tonight. You know he's always had a thing for you." I just smiled and said "I know." Then H said "You're kind of wow'ing me, too."

We got to friend's house and he complimented me on how well I was getting around. Then he stepped back and said "Damn, you're hot! Call me later after your H is asleep!" and gave me a big hug. Then his OTHER guy friend came over and did almost the same. Wow, talk about an ego boost. We hung out, played pool, etc. - nothing too exciting but I was smiling, dancing when good songs came on the radio, being flirty - and I had a few good talks with a couple of the wives/girlfriends that were there.

Then H's friend asked me if I'd pose for a collage that he's making. He owns an auto shop and had this "Mac tools" shirt - the kinda shirt you'd see on toolbox calendars. He's putting together a collage (for his house and for the tool guy) with all of his female "sexy friends" in this shirt, and kept telling me "you're beautiful, you HAVE to be in it! It won't be complete without your picture!" (you'd have to know the guy... he's one of few who can get away with this and not tick off the boyfriend/husband). I am normally WAY too self conscious to do something like this and H was trying to help me talk my way out of it and I thought "180 time!" so I asked where the shirt was. I thought it was going to look awful on me but it actually didn't!! I came out of the back room and H's eyes about popped out of his head. Then H and his friend helped me "pose" for the pictures - nothing revealing, just tight shirt pictures, but it was so much fun!!! They were telling me how to pose and doing my hair. H kept saying "Oh yeah, this is going to be a good shot" and asked his friend to give him the negatives so he can get enlargements!!

As we were leaving H apologized that he hadn't seen his friend in so long and said "I'll be coming around more, I miss you man!" H always hated it when his friends would find a girlfriend or get married and stop hanging around with their "old" friends. I think he started realizing that he was doing this by spending so much time with EA/OW. He's only really comfortable being around her when they're with a group of his new friends, and she finds ways to dislike all his old friends - so rather than leave her out he was leaving them out. He's starting to realize it. Yay!!!

When we got home it was really late and we were headed for bed when H grabbed me and said "Oh my god, you are so gorgeous." He lit a bunch of candles in the living room and we...well without saying too much... had a LOT of fun for the next 2 hours. 2 hours!! That hasn't happened since the first 3 months we were dating!!! He kept stopping to hold my face in his hands, look me in the eyes, and say "You are so gorgeous, I am so lucky." He even kissed me like we haven't kissed in years. We fell asleep on the floor together and only woke up when it got really cold in the house.

Wow, wow, and wow. I know it won't be like this every day but I am feeling SO good today. I'm exhausted and my back is killing me from sleeping on the floor, but I don't even care. This morning I said innocently "So, that was fun" and H flashed me this HUGE grin and gave me a kiss. We're both kind of doing our own thing today, but anytime we see each other we've been hugging or sharing smiles.

This feels so good... I hope we can keep it going!!