Spent a long night last night. Saturday nights still tend to be a challange. Not in the way that they used to be but challanging still.
One of the things that resulted out of H's MLC was that he went out every Sat. and in the first 2+- years, every other night as well. To insure that H would have to stay home with the kids at least once a week, and to create some mystery, I decided to go out once a week. So every friday I went out, while he was home with the kids. It evolved too, Friday nights, I'm out, Saturday nights, He's out. I hated this as an example for the kids. When I returned from our trip east, I proclaimed that Friday night was family night and that I would not be going out. I told H that I'm am "giving up" my night out to try to create a sense of family. If he felt the need to go out then that would defeat the purpose and I just as soon go out then. Voila, keeps him home and I don't have to go out and feel isolated from my family.
Well, every Sat. night he still goes out. It's better. He comes home before 1:00. and usually has some "acceptable" plans. Such as Jamming with his old group.
I have made it through this far and the MLC behavior is abating little by little.
So, I sent my H this e-mail regarding this past Saturday night where he was gone all day on a shoot and then chose to go out instead of coming home afterwards. Now, remember I usually say nothing. But, I have to balance that to take care of myself.
XXXX I don't know how to say this inoffensively or any other way then to just come out and say it.( this is not about me criticizing or judging you, it's about what I had to deal with last night based on your actions) So:
I don't like being left home alone with a child that is distraught because you chose not to come home. He was very upset and I had no context to put it in because he understood it and believed that you did not want to be with us.
That's it in a nutshell.
XXXX
I didn't try to sugar coat it or anything. Some times I just get so tired of being pleasant.
