How well I know that! But, HARKEN! H volunteered to rub my back! (not as if putting on car wax, not sexual but very tender with feelings )
When it comes to abuse, the withholder is/can be the abuser. I don't imagine you have cried yourself to sleep, but maybe "hoisted one extra" a few times to try to get past the torment the feeling of rejection, even tho you have learned on an intellectual level that its not of your doing but a problem your SO has, you still are wondering why they can't 'feel your pain' and 'from the goodness of their hearts preform for you--beit closeness, sex, intimacy, truth, vulnerability...whatever you lable that nakid bliss we all describe differently.
Having your SO deny you THAT is in itself abuse. Allowing it to happen, is tollerence, carring, respect, empathy and understanding masochistic behavior--possibly the definition of Love. For an individual in the 4 catagory, who's self esteem is bruised this is the most unhealthy situation to be in.
Ergo, go along with the BB, and my H style living hoping for a crumb trying to make a big deal out of it, BUT A MUST is to work on yourself to contermand the villification you get at home.
(PS I do believe that the various medicines that assist the circulatory system and reduce plaque (or assist its breakdown), may have significant effect on mental function and benifit the quality of a persons character/daily interaction with those close to them)
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
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