Lil asked What if you acted toward her as you would toward someone with whom you had no history, no hurt feelings, no expectations...? I would find other people to be involved with.
What if you took all her absurd and asinine comments purely at face value without analysis and just treated her as a sane, logical, emotionally healthy, grownup? (a) I would have very low expectations that the R would be very satisfying and determine we are in different spheres of operation. (b) I would have to limit contact with her. (c) I would choose to let her do more things for and by her self and move towards what some people consider traits of an un-supportive husband.
What if you acted on the assumption that her comments and actions make perfect sense TO HER, are consistent within her universe I am there already on a intellectual level. I know her world makes perfect sense to her and some of her friends.
That mode is room mate material.
then STOPPED trying to figure out her universe-- stopped trying to crack the code or look for the magic button? Would your behavior be any different from moment to moment? The first thing that comes to mind is a book title "Don't Let Other People Rent space in Your Head", which is some what like say let them go.
There is a subtext in many of your posts ... She makes unreasonable demands, or resists, etc.....But what good is this attitude doing YOU? Posting that I read book "A" and tried to implement a concept and talking about the outcome and how the situation influenced my feelings is a general idea I have in mind, when I post.
taking a vacation from "BB Is Crazy" thinking I had to read this twice and here is what I hear you saying By taking a vacation from "BB Is Crazy" (has different wants/goals than Lou) would give YOU some relief.
I know taking a break will help in one way. I also know taking a break will lead me to other independent interests and being more independent will look like I don't care about the R or don't care about BB's universe, don't really like her, always wanted someone else for the last 15 years. on the drastic end of looking at the M.
