Re cobra
I'm OK with that part or sometimes, but not most of the time. WHY?
I am the one keeping things stirred up, BB is the resistant one. It gets old and I run out of motivation.

She might see that as you putting her on the spot to be vulnerable instead of you being vulnerable.
OK is BB is testing me as BF suggest, then I need to talk and deal with the answers.

But do you really think you are being abusive?
Not really and the word abusive is too strong. Change it to inconsiderate.

I just think you allow too many loopholes for BB to escape and I don’t think you will ever find a method that she will like and voluntarily undertake. I don’t think change is her goal.
Sounds about right if it is work or takes her out of her comfort zone.

Loopholes or maybe an additional word is picky about choices.


For the third night BB is asking if she can go to bed and for the third time I said, asking never entered my mind or was part of any plan I had. I restated, "saying good night seemed like something we should do when we go to bed, especially when sleeping in different rooms.

I think the different bedrooms situation is not called for. I don't think I make that much noise sleeping, especially because BB has the radio on most of night.

I see BB as a person with some forms of age/or situational medical-related problems and a person in a minor power struggle. I guess I have to make believe I am sparing with Judge Judy (black or white issues, has to have all the I's dotted and the T's crossed) sometimes.

The radio is habit and a aid when not sleeping. BB was a light sleeper and wakes up at night more often than she did 5 or 10 years ago. I always thought people who sleep with the radio on did it for soothing, or the radio was like company.

It is quiet where we live so drowning out back ground noise doesn't apply. BB also has, but doesn't use sound discs of waves, water flowing, and forest sounds.

We might be resolving a few minor issues about the Thanksgiving invitation process. BB is only just beginning to see it is not about the food, if the RSVP method is the only way to invite someone, and beginning to see I have a good time talking with the in-laws. BB does too once she gets there.

midnight Lou

The comment about the hard drive being heavier, not really.