Why don’t you take this as an opportunity to really dig into why BB is upset over this matter? I have dug deeper. BB's response is if people don't do something according to her version of "right/proper" they are not serious, so why go where you are only slightly wanted. BB's bell was chiming, Not good enough. the host's effort and BB's value as a guest. BB also said she didn't want to cut in on the in-laws family time.
If you could open this matter up enough that the both of you can see the core issues that are making her feel as she does, then you might have a model for addressing other issues and moving the marriage forward. cobra, If I wanted to have as much drama as you had in your M, I see your point. As far as core issues, BB's core issue is I don't support her like a H should. I don't support her because she has a very limiter range of what is right or wrong.
To BB the Host didn't call our house for the thanksgiving dinner invitation. Other methods or go-between's don't count. I asked the go between, "was the host serious" so [Now] I an the bag guy?
I think someone else could help BB through her issues but not me, not another male unless he had lots and lots of power. BB is attracted to power, charm, and charisma. I am direct and an open book, no magic here. Just what you see is what you get (WYSIWUG)
Maybe another female, but she would have to be very independent as BB dislikes dependent women even if being dependent makes the OW's life easier, and/or more enjoyable. Someone like Judge Judy might convince BB to do something. I say Judy is a good actor because her program is popular, but not real life. Judy's program is ripe with black or white decisions and opinions. No room for gray areas. Well, it is TV with ratings to be sought after, not how relationships go in everyday living.
don’t want to face her continued rejections That is it cobra. I am tired of being the the person that offered solutions and is held responsible if some of the solutions don't work IRL or in BB's mind.
You will certainly be able to do it in a more civil manner than my wife and I, just don’t give up at the first obstacle. I agree with you here, BB is easier to work with than your W, it's me who isn't in the position right now to push more. I am worn out right now.
I would think this is a great opportunity to put the knowledge to work that you have gained Logic? Sounds good to me but I don't it working on that way.
right now, we don't talk friendly like.. Most conversations are business like. sometimes I try to open up a topic. I ask a question, BB asks why I want to know or like on the way to church she said that was a dumb question.
I see negativity and conflict being used instead of kindness and attraction being used to maintain some sort of R. Not my style of living.
I am bask in the spare bedroom because BB is a light sleeper. The alternative is me in the master bedroom and her in the spare room but PO'ed part of the day.
Its mentally one of those days for me that thinks of a bumper sticker "Wife for sale take over payments" only mine reads " Wife for sale, comes with most of her's and my money"
Like i said before, I vent here and don't say things that will leave me with too much of my foot in my mouth at home.
I don't avoid subjects. I don't avoid all conflicts with BB. I don't keep from saying what i want. I do listen to BB and what she wants. I just don't have a way to do more at this time.
I know from past experiences, some of my feelings will change, some of the issues will resolve then self, others will not change. Some might get worse.
Right now I will do what I can, hold up my end of the R the best I can. Stay out of BB crap. Be a H the best considering the circumstances.
I am going to give the church marriage leader counseling program what I can so I am not going to do anything drastic till it's over. Personally I think we need to be in a group counseling setting but I use what is offered.
Thanks cobra, I have to do some thing sane for a while, like work. It is more rewarding than some parts of the R with BB.
I am putting on the H and game face. Thanks for reading.
