a few posts ago I said the Thanksgiving situation was resolved, well it is resolved on the surface but not resolved in BB's mind. She is going for appearance's sake, but resents me getting involved to clarify the invitation.
Why don’t you take this as an opportunity to really dig into why BB is upset over this matter? As I have discussed on this board, she must be reacting to a feeling of exclusion, low esteem, abandonment, whatever. If you could open this matter up enough that the both of you can see the core issues that are making her feel as she does, then you might have a model for addressing other issues and moving the marriage forward.
But when you just let it lie because you don’t want to upset her, don’t want to listen to her excuses, don’t want to keep pushing to avoid her deflections, don’t want to face her continued rejections, then I don’t see how you will ever become happy, and her too. This is the “push” I am talking about. You will certainly be able to do it in a more civil manner than my wife and I, just don’t give up at the first obstacle.
This particular issues almost seems like a “gimme.” Her excuses are so hollow and groundless, her real fears are so apparent, I would think this is a great opportunity to put the knowledge to work that you have gained. Otherwise, just what is the point?
