sue,
I see that on stephs thread you are still questioning whether h will think you don't care if you don't call or initiate outings.... I would tend to think as I said before that h knows that you care, you did not ask him to leave he left of his own choosing...calling him and asking him to do things and spend time with you will get you no closer to your goal nor will it get him any closer to the answers he is looking for by not being there... let him go give him his space.. he comes by to do his laundry and that is a good thing... you know he doesn't have to do that there are plenty of laundry mats he could go to or even a friends house he chooses to come to your home and spend that time with you.... let him call the shots (at least for now) you will feel better about the time spent together if it is he who initiates it anyway.
it is a long haul a very long haul... but you sound like a strong woman and you will get through it... don't feel guilty for enjoying the tension free time you now have in your home... appreciate it.. use it to your benifit...grow and find yourself now that the tension is not there...
I see on rachels thread that you are questioning your h's love for you.... does he not have trouble with goodbye when he leaves the home? I do not hear the words from my h either.. do not look at the words look at the actions look at the time he is putting into you and the family... is he kind to you?? is he considerate of you and your feelings?? he loves you, this I can see from the way you talk about him... accept that for now though he loves you he needs this space and time perhaps for him perhaps for you both.. know that he loves you.. he is just searching for something right now and maybe he doesn't even know what that is.
LL
