Sue,
Remember the old cliche, "You can't please all the people, all the time." If you try based on guessing what others would like, you are going to act upon assumptions you make that will turn out not to be true and will eventally create resentment.
Be true to yourself first and foremost! You must do what feels right to you. Later in life, you want to be able to reflect back with satisfaction of knowing you did your best and with the least amount of regret.
It seems like you are trying to guess at what changes your H would like to see you make. Concentrate first on what is right for you first, instead of trying to read his mind. If down the road he tells you what he likes that is different, then it is your right of choice to change if it something you would like too. Please yourself first , then if he tells something that would please him and it would please you too, then do it! Open communication is the key here. This is where my focus has been lately ... to communicate what each of us want. Because we didn't talk much to each other about our feelings over the years, we guessed with good intention of doing what the we thought
the other wanted, when we were wrong with our assumptions, it resulted in ill-gotten preceptions that would take on a life of their own unbeknownst to the other.
