Thank you,everyone. H called me at work this a.m., he talked and told me he felt like his life was crashing down on him, seems the ff does not have the time to be the supportive friend that he has been to her,as she has new m friend, my h said that he's happy for her, but that they would play cards with others after bowling and now new f comes out and that leaves my h out.Maybe he will see that she is not the friend he thought...anyway h kept talking about the move and he said he wanted me to be sure that I know that he was only leaving for the reason of needing the space alone and for NO other reason. I said what other reason would I think he said to be with R*****, the ff.He was falling apart on the phone said he felt like he was losing his home and family, I said you are not losing it, we'll still be there.He is worried about how kids are families, families, coworkers, freinds are all going to respond.I said it does not matter, we know people are cruel with rumors, we know in our hearts what is really going on. He wanted to tell kids today. He called me about 2:30, asked if I could leave, wanted to show me the apartment, then come home and talk to kids.I went to see it, it is a simple place about 4 blocks from our house.Then we came home to tell kids. Remember they are son-22, d-20. We sat down in lr, and h started by saying that they probably realized that things were not right, he always rushed home from work, then out to church. He explained that he got apartment and needed space to think, sort things out. That we needed to learn to communicate better and rekindle what has been lost. he also said "that it does not mean in any way that we are getting a divorce", but that he feels too much tension here, and that we have gone to c for 2 years.D sat there with tears streaming and son no expression or feelings showing. H broke down into sobs about how we don't always tell them but that we both loved them and will always be here for both of them. he also said that he would do anything inthe world for all 3 of us.The whole time I sat there and let him talk, he turned to me and said "are you going say anything"I said I did not know what to say, I said I understand and support you. I don't think I said what he wanted, but that's part of our problem, I don't know what to say anymore around him, I am afraid if I spill out anger, hurt, it will drive him away, yet does he want me to tell it all.I wanted to hug him as he talked and cried, or just toouch his arm to say I know it hurts but I am here. I was afraid to do it.I did get up and hug d, she responded with a little hug, I then went to s and he just sat there, I gave him a little hug.H asked if any questions, none.He told them that he wants to go to family holidays together, out to supper together, he and I still go out with friends, he said "I need to be able to do those things still".I have not seen him so upset and torn apart since his Dad died. After he left, I talked alittle more to kids, asked what they might be feeling, d said I don't know what I feel, son had nothing to say. I decided on my own, and I will not tell h, that they had to know about the true feelings that I have had for the ff.I said that I had doubts the last few years about the relationship, but that I now am at peace and totaly trust their Dad that it has been nothing more than a friendship for a very troubled person. I said all along I felt deep in my heart that he would never do that to me, but I questioned it at times.I said that I am of course sad that he is moving, but that we need the time to hoopefully rebuild our m. D then left for work, son cooked some supper before he had to work, and I asked him if he wanted to play Scrabble(we have always played games with the kids) he did. He was beating me and h came home, asked who was winning, I said I was! I am soooo worried for all 3 of them, I have tried so hard over the years to protect from any hurt, which i now know is not the thing to always do.I asked the kids to please try not to have anger for their Dad, as I don't at this time. Thanks KAW, I have to credit this board and all of you for the strenth, I have always leaned on h, now it's his turn.
