Hope, LL... Maybe can help you sharing my experience when h left... I can remember my h first said maybe was better to tell children he was going to a conference out, just lie them avoiding them the suffer bc the real cause of his move... My c always advice me not to lie children, bc they will not fogrgive me that lie, although they are soo young... So, i ask my h to tell the truth, and not onlt that... as it was him who made the decission of moving, i let him the resposbility of talking to children... hewas hoping me to be with him when he talke with them, but i refuse and let him alone... After he talked, telling them he was going to an apartment because we were fighting too muchand we need a little time to think, i talked with my children only asking them how they feel...!!... but yes... he wait until the last minut to talk to them... and he didnt talked with the sincerity he had to... as time pass, my children get more and more anxious, asking me how much more time we need to think and be together again... They began asking him this too... So, i ask h to talk again with children, to be sincere with them... and you know what... he never was totally sincere... So, i had to deal with that anxious in my children, trying to show them live was beautifull although dad wasnt at home and telling them maybe Dad wont get back never at home, but always will be their dad and loves them so much... I feel the need of removing the photos of familly in my home, and explain them why i did that... Bc that photos hurt me and makes me suffer... i never hide them i love so much dad and that i was suffering... but that at the same time i can go on with life, with happiness and with them with a smile...!!... I think thats the best example i can give to my children... and i know they growth bc my behavior...!!... Another thing i want to tell you is that your H really knows you love them...!!... thay dont need to see you crying or needy to reinforce that...!!... My h always knows that, i never deny that... but i never cry or called him crying, asking to came back... i began doing my own life, getting out, sharing a lot with my children, and only comunicating with him because children issue or lawyers issue...!!... I let him alone with his responsabilities of what he had decided... i let him live the life with OW he wants to... At the first moment it seems he was enjoying a lot, and me was the one who was living a hard time... But as time pass, me was the one who was enjoying a familly, all the confort that means, children, christmass time, and he was alone, with a young stupid girl (ow) who had a familly that he didnt care about, without his children, his friends...!!... I was full of happiness, i still winning a lot... he was losing all...!!... So, remember that each time you think your strong behavior can give them the wrong signal... No... your strong behavior show them more and more the kind of woman they are losing, the kind of familly they are losing... Dont forget that... and think a lot of what you are wining while they are losing all although it seems they are happier and free about everything
