Been doing some soul searching.The last few posts have really made me think about my life. I need to do some serious searching and changing. When I think about the past 20 years my h has been nothing but supportive, if I did not want to work then I did not have to, when I did that was ok too. If I wanted to do something he usually wet along with it, even though he might not have wanted to. I could spend any amount on anything(as long as we had it)and he never asked why, If the house was messy he never said what did you do all day. In return I thought I was the perfect wife, but I did not want him to have functions at night because I was home all day with the kids and I did not want to be home alone at night too. I did not want him to sing in choir, then I had to always sit alone. I did not really come right out and say no to him, but the message was clear, and that is what he is bringing up now,and that is why the big change when he left old job, got new friends, went out etc...
i even thought I have not given the ff a chance as a person, I only have seen her as a threat from the beginning. And I know she is going through a very troubled time right now. I am not a selfish person, although it sure sounds like it. i would give my shirt off my back for anyone, i need to stop worryring and wondering what other people think. I even called h at work and asked if he thought she might go some craft shows our town is having this weekend, and he said maybe, why not call her. i did and she is going out of town, but said some other time she would love to!!! I don't want my h to think that i am making some effort to keep him here, as I keep telling myself it will be ok if he leaves( if he does though i am scared to death I will fall apart- I appear to be stronger than I really am, yet I seem to be stronger than I thought I ever would be) I don't know if I phrased that right. Sue
