Thanks again you guys for the support. A light went off with me today, and I am wondering all along if I have been causing most of the issues here. I am not going to take full blame, but all this started when h got new job, after 20 years at same place. He did not have the friendships there as he does at new place.The ff was at old place too, and h just told me the other day that when he was hired, the president asked him if ff and he were having an a!!So, old job must have assumed something back then, and told that durinf referneces. There have been numerous people that have asked my sister if we were together last year, as they saw h with ff out together. Why do people have to judge that an A is going on because they see people out that are not married to each other. When he has been out (at least that I know about), it has been after office functions, and I am not included in those, and I don't like sitting in smokey bars!!

I really need to work on me alot more, to deal with the freind issue, but that is not the only problem, as he brought up these other things that I had said that hurt him.I said in c, that I can't change the things that were said, I can only hope for forgiveness, so he has to work through those.
Andy, I hope you are right about the move, but he asked me the other morning if I had gotten the newspaper.
You know I have hopefully accepted that he is leaving, but the thing that bothers me the most is our kids, I want him to tell them ahead of time-not spring it on them, and since the 1st is coming up, I am afraid(there is that would fear again)that next weekend he will be packing up.
When I reread my posts, I hear a lot alot fear, I have always been like that, worrying, assuming what will happen.This is really an eye opener for me. I am just not sure how to begin to make life long changes. It is easy to think that I have been db'ing, but something has not been working, even though I can see and feel many good things that I have learned,I have lots to do. Again, I think I will go to c alone, and try to sort some some out.
Bye, I know that i keep saying thanks, but you guys have been great, you seem to know how to sort things out, and of course you are in piecing, so you must have something right. I think your spouses are lucky ,they just don't know it yet!
Bye
Sue