Kaw and Steph, your thoughts and encouragement lifted me up at the end of the long day. I feel good at times, that this could be the beginning of the healing, and then my "pms" mind(sorry, but it is true!!)says he is just trying to walk away slowly to her arms, fooling me along the way to make it less painful. How do I get these feelings out of my heart??? She called him last night, and from what I can tell she asks if he can talk, so he said just a minute, and goes outside for cigerette-3 times!!.She had to tell him about her weekend, and afterwards I asked him if she had a good time.He said she asked him if he had told me, and will be mad if I tell anyone. She tells him far too many things that he can't repeat.He honors people when asked not to tell, but she is using him. I would love to call her husband and tell him. Don't worry I'm not going to. Anyway, I hope that he is sincere in what he is saying. The old husband is like that, the changed one I don't know... Time will tell. Funny all these months as I read and read about the hurt and fear, I never really could feel it like I do now that it is hitting closer home.This is almost unbearable not knowing what the next week, month or year will bring, yet I keep telling myself that I am stronger and WILL handle whatever comes my way. Night all Sue
