I can understand your feelings and exactly where you're at. I went through it. The psychology is crazy when you're splitting up, but still have a strong physical connection. I also felt in "competition" with the OW.
When my H and I were in the midst of the D the sex was the steamiest it has ever been (I even went to his apartment once in a trench coat with nothing underneath but a naughty Victoria's Secret bra and thong underware!!!). It was like soccer mom turned lap dancer!
Absolutely crazy... I think emotions get really strange during times like this.
In your case Ald, you are still legally married to your husband so if you want to have sex with him I see no problem in that (as long as YOU can handle the feelings).
I had a lot of conflicting feelings... especially being used. I had to emotionally detach in order to be able to deal with the whole thing. It wasn't easy. And if you make it to piecing... it doesn't necessarily get any easier!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
