Ouch! It's never easy to find out such things as have happened to you--it just doesn't matter what all the other stuff has been about/is about/will be about.
I just wanted to give you my sympathy at this time--I'm intimately familiar with how much it hurts, and I'm so sorry you've been forced to find your way here.
There are lots of great folks on this forum, with lots of great advice--listen carefully and take what you need to begin the healing.
Do for you right now. Get to a counsellor. Find some peace and get some space to think.
