Sorry to see you here - I don't post much but I am telling you the exact same thing kml said -
If you read your first post as if it was someone else's it should be obvious to you.
Your man is a player - you are the OW and he happened to marry you - if any woman should put in the effort to have a decent relationship with him, it is his first wife - especially for the kids. He is a liar and a cheat - he was a liar and a cheat before, during and since your wedding. He is not and never has been "repentant" about being a player.
His first wife knows this - she did you a huge favor by allowing you to realize it - what she did for you is a million times more loving than his empty "player" words/lies.
I know this is hard for you - but RUN - you can get an annulment if that is what you need/want but get a divorce - now and get on with your life - go to counsel to be sure that your next relationship is a worhwhile one - you can learn what to look for and what to expect - it is worth a half dozen counseling sessions for a lifetime benefit.
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. http://www.biblegateway.com/
