There was a time in my life when I did the same thing to my wife that your husband is doing to you. For me my self esteam was really low. When I looked at my wife I saw a reflection of my own failures. It was nothing that she was doing she was just a reflection of my soul and my soul was not feeling very good at the time.
I would go and help other people because it helped me feel better about myself. I wrote a little example for another dber a couple of months ago I will piece a little of it here for you
As something to think about imagine......:
You stop at a neighbors house knock on the door and say " I would like to do your dishes" If they allowed you to do the dishes what would there reaction be.
Would they - Ignore the fact that you did them? Gripe that you dripped water on the floor? Shower you with thanks and praise for being such a good person?
I guess what I am trying to get at that your husband is in essance helping stranger. No matter what he does for them "for now" he receives huge amounts of praise and it feeds his need for admiration and helps his self esteam.
Anyway I hope this gives you another way of seeing your situation.
So how can you respond to your husnabd in new ways that might help fill his emotional needs?
How have you been responding. Do you compalin about what he is not doing? Do you gripe about what he did wronge or do you shower him with thanks and praise?
