Hi Sue,
You are doing just fine. You are doing what needs to be done at this time. By slowing down your reactions, giving a pause will allow you to act "as-if". What you will discover is over time this is how you break the old habits and form the new ones. The more you repeat act "as-if", the more it becomes habit and the less you need to think about doing it. Practice makes perfect. (yes...I'm just full of old cliche's, but they ring so true here... )

Try not to be worried about slipping. Everyone is human and makes mistakes. One time will not destroy your M. The important thing to remember is don't continue to do what doesn't work.

For example, one of my W's pet peeves was after dinner everyone would go their seperate ways and my W was left cleaning in the kitchen. For two months straight, I help her clean every nite. One evening, I just felt like relaxing after dinner and wanted to read a magizine that arrived in the mail. She journalled that nite how things were reverting back to the old ways ... ... but the next evening, I help her again in the kitchen ... and so on ... and so on ... and so on ... and she quickly came to realized the old ways were NOT back.

Also keep in mind this why there is no harm in experimenting with trying something new. If it doesn't work, just don't do it again and it is forgotten about, but if you find something that does work, the rewards can be bountiful.