Thanks for the advice. I have been speaking with a lawyer since he left 6 months ago. I am keeping the lawyer up to date on the developments.
I did get an email from my H the day before Thanksgiving wishing me a happy holiday and wanting to know if I am still his wife. Said he has a picture of me on his screen saver and he tells "everybody" (whoever that is) that the woman on the screen saver is his wife and maybe still is his wife.
He did not tell me where he is (typical) nor did he mention when or if he would return (also typical).
I did not sleep well last night thinking that maybe he wants to make up and act like none of this ever happened (that sounds like him). There are 2 things I am most concerned about:
1) His unpaid bills (in his name only - the lawyer says I am protected via state law). But - get this - the sum of his unpaid credit ($50 k) almost exactly equals the money he gave me to pay the bills in his absence. Very suspicous. I asked the lawyer about this - he said that the banks that he owed money to would have to prove that the cash advances (which I assume it must have been) were used for a "family purpose" (bill paying) before I would be responsible. I think it might be easy to prove this.
2. The lies that I have discovered since he has been gone. Like being in Australia when he told me he was in London 2 years ago. Also recent lies about "never being married" on the dating website. Those are the lies that I know about -how many more are there???
It would take some time to work through these issues. So, I'm sure you are asking - why do you want him back? Lots of reasons - first of all I said "I do" and my word means a lot to me. Secondly, I have swallowed the concept that "this is just the way he is" and I need to deal with it. Thirdly, I think it's the right thing to do - get the debt repaid - he's made a ton of money before, he can do it again.
Deb
Joy and Sorrow...when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed. ~Kahlil Gibran
Me: 46 H: 45 Married: 5.0+ years Bomb: May 17, 2006 0 living children, 2 babies in heaven 1 dog, 2 cats
