Rachael,
Thanks so much for encouragement, it truely lifts you up just to hear a few positive words. I read your post and it sounds like you are on the way. Your h sounds like he has different moods, is close to one minute far the next. Mine is just in between all the time. I am probably missing the small signs, and just want a big one to hit. We all know here that that is not how it happens.
I think you are right in the "friend" that flatters him, I have noticed the past 6-8 mos, that when we are out that h seems to kinda flirt, which he has never done before, so i think mlc is part of it, and also I find myself that you are flattered by little remarks from the other sex. So this woman is in great need and he feels good about helping. She acts so dumb sometimes when I've been around her. I on the other hand, while my self esteem is not that great, am independant for alot of things that she needs help with or just wants to make men feel needed. I keep asking myself why or what does he see in her that's good, compared to me. She's a little thinner, but no babe, and he is a little overweight. i don't know. h and I were the first for each other, but that should not make a difference, we came into m from our parents homes, so we never did the single life away from home, and sometimes I think he would like that taste(would't we all from time to time), but that should not be a basis for giving up your vows for.
I am going to keep working on me, and appreciate the steps forward. Hope you can do the same.I hope we can keep in touch, I feel so much closer to these threads then newcomers.
Bye
Sue