love never fails

[Sherman333]

I'm actually surprised you called your xH to tell him you spoke with the OW xH. Just curious what were you looking to get out of the exchange?

Anyhow, I called my xH right away and talked to him about the whole thing. Of course, he blew up. He called me every name in the book and told me he hates me. He said that me calling OW's xH was the "worst, lowest thing a human could do". I laughed at that. He said that it proved I was a "meddler" and that I was just trying to ruin his life and keep him from being happy, which (in his mind) has always been my goal.

Funny how your happiness doesn't enter into the situation. He's just trying to shift blame from him to you. There has to be a piece of him that knows what he's done and a big chunk of this is working to control the situation (pass the blame game).

We talked on and off all day, sometimes civil and sometimes not. He seemed to want to showcase his anger with me while OW was witnessing it. She was in the background later in the day, coaching him and telling me off through him.

Ugh... big man yell at ex. Oops... how does that script go again? Feed me another line... can't think for myself. <<- What an idiot.

Oh well, if she doesn't want to believe it, it's not really my problem. I've planted a little seed of doubt in her mind...whether she knows it or not...and someday, when she least expects it, my xH will show his true colors and she will remember the things I said.

Yes you did. Don't worry. She'll probably blame you for this later.

He said he just wants me to be happy and that he knows I will find someone who will treat me better than he did.

OK. This is a copout on your xH's part. A little band-aid if you were on his guilt. He's trying to shift some of this back onto you with this statement and not own his own actions. Bleh.

I guess when I was saying that, I was sort of making a point to him that he didn't do that -- he jumped right into this R from our M...

I'm not sure he gets it yet. But he will >;)

Liz, just know that this has nothing to do with and you need to trust that you didn't do anything WRONG. Know that you are a good person and extremely lovable. All of us that have been following along with your thread can see you for who you are... a wonderful, thoughtful, and caring person. You even have a sense of humor too...

At least with this you know more of the details and all I can see from it is a lot of the lies coming to the surface. It says a lot about your ex. For you, just learn what you can about the effort it takes to communicate and express your needs so you can take this with you. Nothing is ever wasted that you learn something from.

So what's next for Lizemba?