love never fails

[Sherman333]

I'm sorry you're hurting. ((((Lizemba))).

I think the D was finalized today, but I don't know for sure. I am going to call the courthouse tomorrow and find out.

I didn't go down to the court either. I saw it as an emotional event I didn't need to experience. MI makes the plaintiff say a script that isn't nice to hear. Reading the verbage in the paperwork was enough.

Everyone else has already touched on most of what I'd say.

But I'm a little philosophical today, so...

What hurts a lot is this feeling that he's giving her everything that I wanted him to give to me -- loyalty, commitment, compassion, etc. He's said he is going to be a better man because of her and that just makes me feel like crap.

Well you're not alone in this. But unless your H does the work on himself, it won't last. Promise.

The best analogy is that if you are walking a mile and holding your breath, sooner or later you have to take a breath. Your H and the OW will have to let their masks down sooner or later.

But hearing it from the landlady just made me feel worse for some reason -- like it made it all seem more "real".

Yes... I know and I'm sorry it's hitting you like this. I will tell you that there will be more "events" that bring it up. This grief process is a cyclical, so don't avoid the feelings, but let them come. This way you won't have to deal with them later (which is a very good thing).

Anyhow, I do sometimes grab onto the fact that I know he's not this "great catch," but then again...he's already got someone and I certainly don't.

But you have something much better!!! You have all of us!!!

All of us here on the boards have had glimpse into the person you are and Liz you are a good person and it's your husband's issue that he doesn't want to work on things with you. Personally I think he's missing out on a wonderful woman and a great opportunity at happiness. He's blind to what he has in front of him.

He had affairs and left in the past. I just don't think you're losing anything that special. If he comes back a changed man that's one thing, but at this point he's really not worth someone special like you...

I know you're right. When I look back, it wasn't great. There were lots of issues.

In a sense, he's done you a favor. He's saving you from having to continue to endure things as they were. Your eyes are opened to what a solid relationship should be. That true love is a choice and something given on PURPOSE. NOT a feeling.

Again, I'm sorry you're hurting.

((((((Lizemba))))))