Quote: iluv2teach wrote: If H just left you a message saying he missed all of you. I don't think that the R is as good as you are imagining.
He didn't leave a message saying that. Boy, don't I wish! He hasn't said he misses anyone but S4 in 6 months.
Quote: running wrote: Try not to feel so bad (I know that's easier said than done and you probably get tired of hearing that!!!), but overall it really wasn't the greatest marriage. He had affairs and left in the past. I just don't think you're losing anything that special. If he comes back a changed man that's one thing, but at this point he's really not worth someone special like you.
I know you're right. When I look back, it wasn't great. There were lots of issues. But I still love him, and I felt like things were improving over the last 5 years. I guess I was wrong.
Anyhow, I do sometimes grab onto the fact that I know he's not this "great catch," but then again...he's already got someone and I certainly don't. And she left her H to be with him. She left a guy with a stable job and a good income to be with my xH, someone who hasn't held a steady job EVER and could never really provide for us. I just don't get it. I know why I love and want him, but what does she see? I guess I may never know.
What hurts a lot is this feeling that he's giving her everything that I wanted him to give to me -- loyalty, commitment, compassion, etc. He's said he is going to be a better man because of her and that just makes me feel like crap. Why couldn't he be a better man for me?
Quote: OldFool wrote: The fact the OW thinks she is "in love" doesn't really change the sitch, does it? Didn't you already figure both had succumbed to the "endless honeymoon" that is an affair?
I guess you're right. It doesn't change anything. But hearing it from the landlady just made me feel worse for some reason -- like it made it all seem more "real".
Quote: OldFool wrote: I doubt you'll see progress until both have been together long enough that this wears off and the expectations of an R start to kick in.
Yea, I know. They need to have a full-fledged R before reality can sink in for my xH. I just fear it will take a long, long time.
