My heart is heavy for you. Funny...or perhaps I should say odd...how we all grow up and think of ourselves as adults and yet we can so easily feel just like we are back on that old school playgound being the last one picked. Rejection just hurts no matter who you are or how strong you may think you are.
However, that having been said, as you so correctly pointed out in an earlier post, when people are involved in an affair they are rarely thinking clearly. The fact the OW thinks she is "in love" doesn't really change the sitch, does it? Didn't you already figure both had succumbed to the "endless honeymoon" that is an affair? I doubt you'll see progress until both have been together long enough that this wears off and the expectations of an R start to kick in.
I have to agree with runningoutoftime that "If he comes back a changed man that's one thing, but at this point he's really not worth someone special like you." I've had to come to this point as well. I'm not perfect, but I'm willing to work to improve myself. If my WAW chooses to do so as well, then perhaps there is a future for us. If not, I do not want her back the way she is with all that baggage (just as she wouldn't want me back with mine).
I also agree with ilove2teach with regard to your landlady. She is a friend of the OW so that slants what she tells you. But even more important, she is only getting the version of things the OW chooses to tell her. Things may be different either because the OW doesn't know they are or because she cannot bring herself to tell anyone that things aren't so great after having nuked her own M.
Lately, I've been trying to keep this old proverb in my head: "If you love it let it go. If it returns to you cherish it, if not it was never truly yours." It doesn't make everything better, but at least for me, it makes dealing with my impending D a little easier.
