I am sorry to hear about what you are going through.
I know exactly what you mean about the leaving a message thing. I used to talk to my W for like 30 min to an hour every day at work - she always needed to talk, tell me about her day, etc.
Now she doesn't call much (I don't call at all) and when she does - If I don't answer, she almost never leaves me a message. It's really bizarre. There are others that have experienced the same thing. Still makes it weird.
Quote: 12 years is a long time to spend with someone and it's hard to let go. I wonder if he ever thinks of me fondly or misses me. I guess it's possible, but he'll not share that with me. His feelings for the OW have overshadowed any that he might have for me.
This has to be a really hard thing to think about. I have heard that they must get the OW or OM out of the picture before they will miss us. The lure of the OW/OM is strong - the challenge of pursuing them is all they can think about. In some ways, I wonder if it really is the OW/OM they really love - or is it the excitement of the chase. Once they "get what they want" they feel bad about what they have done, but don't want egg all over their face about how they were wrong - so they just suffer. It sounds like your H is already suffering with the OW. I don't think what they have will last at all.
You have a ton to offer Liz, but I think you already know that. You are a beautiful person - both inside and out. You sound like you are holding your own. We are here if you need to vent or anything.
