Thanks for stopping by GH..and thanks everyone for your replies.. I really am trying to get over these things on my own...its just i feel like why should she get to have this whole part of her life without me and me not knowing what "really" happened.Its just doesnt seem fair. I know i know..get over myself and realize what led us here in the first place..alot of it was me,but i never knew about the things that bothered her so much..she confided in her friend and such but never really sat me down and told me how she really felt..she made a decision to do what she did and i feel like im still the only left to deal with all the pain and hurt and..hell i just want to know that im loved and wanted and desired...i know i know...im leaving it up to her to make me feel good about myself.. Thats the one thing i hate about all of this..is I always felt good about myself and who i was..i felt attractive and a fun person to be around..the past few years i went into a little hole with my own depression of sorts with family issues and such,and i feel like she bailed on me...but then again..i never really sat her down and told her of my feelings either..so thats where i am.. Im just a stupid man who didnt pay much attention to my W,but cant stand the fact that she went outside the M and found a new life..Granted...it sure wasnt all that was cracked up to be for her..yet she kept on doing it... Man we really have great times now...when im not in one of my depressed moods about what she has done...our sex life is unbelievable now...but the crazy thing is sometimes that even bothers me..why now..i always had problems with her and our sex life,but she could never seem to want to open up with me in the bedroom..what changed during her A? She didnt feel comfortable with me doing thangs,but it was easier to "find" herself and let go with another.. Ok now im ramblin' so i will go..Just a little glimpse in the life of me these days...Sometimes i just hate the way she has made ME feel about myself....any sense being made here? Thanks everyone\ DeeJay
