Thank you both for taking the time to reply...Its good to hear from people who also have some thoughts i have...
My W cant understand why i just cant be happy that i got what i said i wanted all along..Well the problem is i now think of all the crying and begging and pleading that i did and she still continued with the A...and now i guess i fell weak...I feel like op has a leg up on me...i just cant explain it all..i cant understand everything and why it happened..and why is it now that i am better than sliced bread...I guess the reason i keep asking questions is because she keeps lying everytime i do.I had enough lies during our seperation.i understand that she doesnt want to hurt me,but i guess knowing she could look me in the eye and tell me things i dont really want to hear would maybe give me a sense that if my W can tell me these things then she would tell me anything from here on out..hell i dont have the answer to why i am like i am..but i am..and i feel like she should honor that and do what ever necessary to get us/me back to feeling good about myself.
In the end i guess that is what it is really about ME.
I dont feel particularly good about myself.I used to be such a confident person..i mean i always felt like i was a likable good lookin guy ya know..and now i question that and i dont like it...Its showing in my health and looks now..I mean during our seperation i lost 30 pounds..since i have been back and feeling these things about myself..well i have put on 40+ pounds..i feel disgusted with myself..but i think in some odd way its only because i feel like that on the inside..
Thanks guys
DeeJay
