Today is a new day!!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

well, if you were a woman, I would suggest that maybe you were pmsing. haha. that happened to me every month!

But really, you are going to have times like this. Hopefully not very often, but they will happen. We can't be strong all the time. We will have doubts creep in. We will have anger set in. Resentment. Even wonder about our sanity and if we can keep making ourselves go thru this hell. But really, you can do this. You've come a long way. When I first found your thread, she was totally scared of you, and didn't want anything to do with you, right? In the last couple months, she's opened up a lot to you, has confided in you, flirted even, and has talked about her fantasies with you in it!

You just have to stay strong. And you know what? You have enough reason to end your M and move on with your life. But you had made the decision that you still want her as your W, not someone else. I think it would be good to just really continue to grow as a person, and better yourself, and get involved with friends and etc, and continue to have contact with her, but don't make her the only reason for your life. Don't try so hard to make it happen.

Like I said, because she went so far with her A, it is going to be even harder for her to come back to you. It is going to be hard for her to break up with the OM, and swallow her pride and admit that she messed up. And it is going to take a long time to prove to her who you really are.

Really think about that last line. How many years were you guys together? How many of those years were you NOT the H that you should have been? Now how many years, or weeks more like, have you been the NEW you? It's just not enough time for her to really believe that this is really you. It took my husband 3 full months (which I think was really shorter than most), and that was him only having the A for 5-6 months. Your W is living with her OM, and I'm sure it's been longer than 6 months that they have been together.

Just try to get out of this funk that your having, and then look at this all over again. Maybe set a date for yourself in the future that will mean that that time you will decide if you want to keep pursuing this road or not. And if not, it doesn't necessarily mean that you guys can't get back together anyways. I mean, do you think that you would meet the perfect woman that would replace her that quickly?

Anyways, I'm sorry to hear that you are down. This time of the year is supposedly the worst for people having depression. It is this time of the year that reminds us of being with family and the ones we love, and so on. And if we don't have the ones we love, well, I don't need to say more.

Focus on your children during this time. They can be a good distraction!