I'm glad that I've been of some help to you. Half the time I'm really clueless, but then again, no one is going to just know the right answers. We just have to try and see what works and what doesn't.

It really sounds like your focus is much better lately too. I know towards the beginning it seemed really hard for you, and I don't even think I could imagine going thru what you have. But you've done such a great job and have really improved yourself and eventually she will see and trust that it is the real you.

If ever there is a time when I haven't written back for a while, it may just be that I'm pre-occupied with the family life, but I will always check back. So I appologize for that before it happens!

If you guys ever talk about the trusting and your changes again, I think that I would refrain from saying "you can trust me now". not that it was a bad thing to say, but I think it won't really help her trust you more. That can only come from inside her, and I think making those comments will be associated with pressuring. just MHO

Also, try not to give too much information about what your doing, as in the flowers. You want her to be curious about what is going on inside of you. That's what my DB counselor said. He said to me to be almost mysterious and vague. otherwise you lose some excitement and intrigue.

Of course, I think everything your doing is great, and your doing a wonderful job. Hang in there, and I'll talk to you soon.

Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."