Today is a new day!!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

okay, first I am upset because I typed you a really long mesg and the site was slow, so I copied it, but then forgot to go back and paste, and now I have to do it all over again!!!! I'm sorry!

lemme see if I remember.

Although you probably think it was bad, what your W said, I think it was promising. She apparently has thought at some point, about what would happen if she got back with you. So this is good. What you need to do now, is show her, with time, that this is a lifelong change for you, and it's not just to win her back so that you can go back to your old self once you have her. It's just going to take a LONG time, IMHO. Compared to my sitch, your W went a lot further with her A than mine, so this might be a long haul for you, but you can win!

I'd really like to know what you said in response to her comment, and why she even said that in the first place.

This was something my H went thru and he told me he was waiting to see if this was really me, or if I was just doing this to get him back. Apparently, he believed that it was the real "improved" me, because we are back together trying now.

I would suggest if this ever comes up again, or maybe write her a letter (like I did) and mention the following. I totally understand why you are skeptical of my behavior. i would be too if I were in your shoes. However, I have learned that I have not been the man/husband that God has called me to be, and I am so excited about the change that He is making in my life and I plan for this to be a lifelong change for me."

I wrote something very identical to my H and he said it did help him.

Also, now, you really need to make sure that these changes for you are who you want to be and that they BECOME you. I know that we do these things in the hope that our W will come back to us, but we ultimately need to do these things for US. No matter what happens, these changes will improve our future lives no matter who we are with.

I would bet that these changes you are making, are making yourself feel better as a person, not just making her feel better. To love, means to give of oneself to another. It is a choice we must make, but when we do love/give, it will ultimately reward us as well.

As for your W not getting to see you, and being occupied with the OM. I think that might not be so bad, and could work in your favor. Now it will be HER that has to decide, "do I really love this person?" because it seems like she is waiting on him hand and foot. Now YOU can be that OM in her life, and you just continue to be that fun and compassionate man that she missed out all those years.