Today is our 8 year anniversary. Going to be a long day, but I have things to keep me busy.
The past week or two, we have been spending alot of time on the phone. The coversations have been on everything from the kids to the R to just bsing. Both have admitted to enjoying the convo. Some time back her car was repoed(partly my doing) so she has been using her mothers. I told her that I would help her get a new one, so this past weekend I went car shopping and found one that I thought she would like. I called her so she could check it out. When I called she was still in bed and apparently me calling and her leaving raised a bit of an issue for OM. Anyway she left and came car shopping with me. Didn't end up finding any thing she could live with so we went shopping in a couple of her favorite stores and had lunch. After getting through the initial anger of me upsetting OM we had a pretty good day.
Now yesterday we had a conversation about how I've misread things and I'm only seeing what I want to see. I'm over analyzing. She says we can't spend all day everyday talking. But I'm not always the one who makes first contact. Over the last couple weeks she has called me first. I'm usually in class so I text back asking if she needs something, she always says know just wanted to talk.
Through all her medical troubles lately I am the one who calls or txts her just to see if she is okay. The day she had a procedure done none of her "friends" or family could be bothered to come pick her up from the hospital, so I left in the middle of a class to drive 40 miles to pick her up. It seems I'm the only one who make sany effort to make her feel better.
I had mentioned in the other thread that we had exchanged fantasies, and that they almost always included each other. Well last week we were having one of these conversations and it ended with us having phone sex. She hasn't told him about this because she doesn't want to unnessecarily hurt him.
She has also hinted that things in the new R aren't what she wants. She's not completely happy. She feels kinda stuck due to money issues.
Between her making first contact, the phone sex and her confiding in me about her R...what am I supposed to think here. I felt like we were beginning to move in the right direction but I pushed to hard and she has pulled back. We still had a good R talk today but it didn't leave me feeling as optomistic. I know I need to pull back and let her do what she's gonna do but I am filled with so much emotion that I don't know what to do with. I'm back to the point where I want to talk to her all the time, I want to see her as much as possible. But I know all of this is counter-productive to my goal.
A few things coming up of note are, I'm driving to maine on saturday to pick up a car that I'm buying from my brother for my wife. And I had mentioned before about losing my job, well my severance period ends in a couple weeks and at that time child support is cut in half. She has no other income. So it will be interesting to see if OM is willing/able to pick up the financial slack.
I know I've pushed her away a little over the last couple days and I just need to do my own thing but damn this is hard.
